Three years ago I had my life all mapped out. I’m going to get a writing job in a magazine or newspaper company, rake in enough money to finance my travel addiction, get a nice boyfriend who will understand why I like coffee so much and put up with all my stubbornness, and finally, enjoy my twenty-something life.
It wasn’t supposed to be that hard when you’re fresh out of college armed with confidence and full of idealism. Just like what my professors had often said (and I’m certain you have had a similar experience): “You’ll go places if you believe in yourself!” Sure, these words of wisdom will give you renewed enthusiasm. But when reality bites, believe me, the last thing you’d want to do is march out of the university campus and leave the well-pampered life you enjoyed since you were in pre-school.
In one of my major subjects back in college, my professor handed out a piece of yellow paper and asked each one of us to write down what we’d want to be in the next 5 years. I can still vividly remember what I had written: “I am going to be a writer and marry Nick Carter!”
I know. It sounds funny and very highschool-ish, but I wasn’t kidding. Isn’t it ironic to be so sure of what you wanted in life when you’re young and haven’t the least idea about the rejections and challenges you’ll come across with in the “real world?” How is it that we set specific career goals only to find out they are not meant to be realized because the universe do not seem to conspire to get what you want and where you want? Is that really how the world works or is it just a matter of changing priorities?
A few months after that infamous day, I scored a job for an IT-based call center—where I am currently connected for 2 years now. Despite the growing hesitation I decided to embark on it thinking I was doing the right thing. At first everything was all too well. The workload is manageable, you meet new people, the opportunities are promising, you earn your own bucks and decide how to spend it. In other words, you become independent and responsible in your own ways and your family begins to see you in a different light.
Needless to say, I was having the time of my life until it dawned on me how largely I have been sidetracked. I dreamed for a writing job but I ended up providing technical support. I am earning my own bread, but travel has become a luxury for me once in a while because of the erratic schedules we have to adhere to at work. Likewise, salary increases means more GASTOS. And to top it off, just like any other 20-somethings out there, I am going through quarter-life crisis and the only consolation I got is having a wonderful boyfriend who doesn’t nag me when I’m getting overboard and over-bored.
Having said all that, the question now is: Where do I go from here?
For the time being, a troublesome truth struck me. I’m not sure if I still want to make a career out of writing. Maybe I still do, but not right now where there is a dearth of breaks for aspiring writers like me. Some times, I still feel the blow for not pushing through further. But on hindsight, life has never been that bad to me after all these years.
Sure, I have been sidetracked. I am in a position I never asked in the first place. I deal with irate customers 9 hours a day, 5 times a week. I have my own money to spend. And this time, it’s through my own effort and sweat. Bittersweet, could be the best way to describe the journey. But I learned something from the Zen philosophy to help me look at the brighter side of defeat. “Change the things that can be changed, accept those that cannot, and learn the wisdom to know the difference!”
Author’s Note: Article originally appeared in Clickthecity.com on May 4, 2006
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