I’m having the feeling for days. One minute I’m super busy, the next minute I’d become super wistful. I have long tried convincing myself to stop over-analyzing things and to stay away from too much television, because they are make me think unrealistically. I thought I am somewhat successful in doing so, but I also realized how I missed the old times.
I remember some years ago, my friend Rachelle and I were shortly caught up in our respective reveries one evening when she said something like “Alam mo naisip ko lang, sino kaya sa ating magbabarkada ang unang mag-aasawa? Sino yung unang magkaka-baby? Sino ang di magkaka-anak? Sino yung iiwan ng asawa? Sino yung hindi magiging masaya sa pamilya?”
Somehow I was quick to say I’d probably be the one who won’t bear a child. Because back then I thought I’d be having endometriosis or something that would prevent me from giving birth. After all, I’m a certified worry wart and honestly, being one stresses me so much.
What Rachelle probably did not realize was I’d taken her words seriously. Meaning, I looked forward for the characters and see where I’d belong.
Fast forward today, obviously I was wrong for thinking of not going to have a child, because I did give birth to a beautiful baby several months back.
Our lives now have evolved in ways we never imagined. Ways, I have not imagined. Or maybe, it’s only because like I said earlier, I’ve watched too much TV and seen too many things that only happens to the few selected ones.
When I was younger I thought to myself I will have this big, beautiful blue-colored house with white fence. I will get married wearing this beautiful ball gown and my wedding will be attended by family and friends, especially lolo and lola. I will be witnessing every milestone my baby will achieve.
Now I’m thinking, had I daydreamed too much as well? I guess I had, and because things doesn’t seem to be going my way, I’m beginning to fret.
I know there’s proper timing for everything. Or for some, some things just do not happen the way we foresee it. I guess it just validates what I read somewhere, “Lahat pwede, pero hindi lahat DAPAT.”
Sad to say, that is the real world!
Wandergirl is Cherrylie in real life. She’s been so obsessed with blogging and the word “wanderer.” She has since used this pen name after reading it from a novel (about a free-spirited girl who just so love to travel) some years back. 